Jessica Birmingham

Follow Me

Oh this life of following you..
To my head, it is nothing new
of how You said, “come follow Me,
it is through this life
that I want to set you free!”
I have known the “yes’s” and the “no’s”
through the very highs and the very lows
but in order to really follow you
did You really say “deny” and did You really say “go”
I fought and debated
I argued and related
but to die to me?
what is this?
will it really set me free?
Oh how I have said, ” I like this seat, this view from the pew
it is comfy and really is quite a retreat
a break from the hassle of being a mom
the running, the racing, the hustles and the yawns
I like the comfort from this point of view
I have even served more than my due”
But You said “Take my hand
pick up this cross, it is time to stand,
no more “I’s”, “me’s”, “myself” and “my’s”
No more wasting life on these lies
No more time in this barren land
It’s time my child that you understand
It is not only for you that you share
I need You to tell them of how much I do care
you have been entrusted with my story
my death, my redemption, and grace
In this you have been privileged to represent My face
So remember My love and My cross I did bare
I suffered and died just to see you there
So you would be healed, redeemed and set free
So don’t keep quiet, or afraid…don’t you see….
So please tell them how very much they mean to me
Oh My Savior, what can I say?
What else is there to do,
How can I not speak love and truth
May all my days however few
be solely pointing others to you

Galatians 2:20-21 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives
in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and
gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be
gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!

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Jessica Birmingham

Let Me

When my fears of life surround me
You say, “Let Me”
When my cares so easily confound me
You say, “Let Me”
When my ways seem so much better
You say, “Let Me”
When I have so many storms to weather
You say, “Let Me”

My daughter I have a plan
Trust me and just take my hand,
I know you can not see
But I am crying out
“Let Me”
I have a plan that is greater
One that will set you free
if you would only trust
I am right here, I am all you need
So please,
“Let Me”

You See, I will not make you,
No, I will not force My way
If you My beloved, truly knew
I love you and I do hear you pray
I will sustain you, I will make you new
So Just let go
and
“Let Me”

Jessica Birmingham

I Love You

Hello my Precious Daughter,
I want to write this letter to show you what is true- where I was and what I did all the moments of
your life- so that you may know my love, my grace, so that you may know MeI
Love YOU
In the beginning before time began
I Love you
In the very moments you took your first breath
I Love you
In the secret of your tears as you felt misunderstood
I Love you
In the moments of striving for love and you felt no one saw you
I Love you
When you made the wrong – hard decisions
I Love you
When you ignored my nudging
I Love you
When you ran farther and farther from me because you were scared
I Love you
In the very moment you first responded to me
I Love you
On your wedding day when you said “I do”
I Love you
On the day he made you cry
I Love you
When you felt rejected
I Love you
When you saw for the first time what I did for you on the cross
I Love you
As you wrestled to trust me
I Love you
Today in the unknowns and the what if’s- the resting and the peace
I Love you still
So the next time you forget and you wonder how I see you- please know my precious child I
LOVE you more than you could ever know!!
I Love you!!
Let my love overwhelm you and sustain you as you walk this journey I have Called you to! I love
you so much before you ever even knew it!
I Love you!
With unconditional Love,
your Abba Father

Jessica Birmingham

My Savior, My God, and My King

Oh how I seek to understand,
how I seek to grasp the reasons You made a way
Why You chose to send Your precious Son on that day!
You say to me, “I Love beyond measure,
You ARE my ultimate treasure”

But to understand how a God so big, so vast, and so powerful would love me,
being so small, so simple and so weak…
So far from Your original people so beyond Your original, beautiful plan
You say, “My Child, I knew You from before the world began, you too were a part of my
original, beautiful plan..”

Oh Your love my God, I can hardly take it in..I can hardly breathe let alone understand
Oh what have You done for me
My heart was so far wrapped around me, such a hard heart towards You, you see,
This pride was overtaking me, it lied, it made me think
There is nothing I can’t do, I am my own, and my own will do..
Then from nowhere You called to me, you spoke of how You longed to set me free,
Just as You called, “O Israel, I would redeem” You said to me “There is so much for you,
you have not seen”
Yet Your Son to die, Could this be so
So I could see
My Savior, My God and My King…

From The tree You grafted me, From this life…from myself…You set me free!!

You have turned my mourning into joy and
My despair into praise!
Oh how…how can I understand Your ways
You have placed a crown of beauty on my head
Pure and clean, white as snow You have said
No more ashes, no more death

You have given me a firm place to stand
Only through the blood and nail scared hands
You have planted me by rivers edge
My heart to You God- I pledge

For I am rooted there for the display of your splendor
With all that I am to You I render

Oh My Savior My God and My King

Oh how Sweet my God I have come to know
You have completely wiped away the past I did sow

Oh How I love the display of Your beauty,
Through the trials, the blessings and the tests
And You chose to use this vessel, this mess
Just as You chose Israel I guess,

From them You demanded a sacrifice, as a picture of The Coming Christ,
The Water, the Bread, The Messiah-Your Covenant, Your Lamb..Your Son!!
For me it is my heart you are after, And it is my heart You have surely Won!!!

Oh God of all creation, take this heart..it is fully yours
Take me, cleanse me, use me still
until You say my time is through, my work on earth has had it’s due
until I stand before Your throne, Until this place is no longer home

When i stand before you then, may You say “welcome in,
Your work is done, Your race complete, well done my child,
my daughter, my treasure..

Come in, sit down..here is your seat,
the feast awaits- a marvelous treat!
Here is Your chair, this is where you belong, oh but my child this is just begun…
remember My promises, My Word stands true..well Now you see,
it is now that YOU can fully understand ME!!

You see the why’s, the how’s, what’s and the when’s ..
You see I told you how good it would be then
How it would be worth it, and all of the brokenness I would mend

You see my child, it all was for this purpose
now you can enjoy all that you see, all that I pleasure,
for now You can see the joy in my treasure!
It was for You I made these things, to share and to bring
Now come, enjoy, worship and sing!!

Oh Now I see,
Please take these crowns, take these gifts from me!
You are my Portion, Redeemer and my Prize
To You forever, May All my praises Rise!!
Oh My Savior My God and My King

Jessica Birmingham

Bound by Grace

I once was there too,
thinking I was so free
thinking that nothing on earth
would ever bind me

Thinking that freedom was just one choice away
to do what I pleased, what I wanted
In any place and any time of day

I was so sure that no one could see
the fear, the shame,
The shackles that bound me
All the while convincing myself
I don’t need anyone..no..no not me

I once was there too,
Demanding and certain
Saying, “if you only knew”
the pain behind this curtain
The past I was consumed by,
the time I spent searching

Then it all happened
, I heard His voice,
a hand lifting my head
“I have given you this choice”
trust and believe the things you have read

Oh and, I have paid for you
to walk this way instead

The Cross was the means
of a price paid to be free

His voice was so clear
as He spoke it to me

It is Grace you are bound to
As soon as you believe
It is Grace you are bound to
for you to fully cleave

Now, Please look and please see
it is not shackles that bind me
I am bound by grace the world can not perceive

I do not deserve it,
Oh no..no not me
there was no work burdened on me
I simply receive
what has already been done
I simply rest
cause the battle’s already been won

Our Savior, our King
Came once and for all
to redeem and to bring
To save us form the fall

But not only that, do you see what you read
He saved us from the shackles
of being bound to well….”me”

I don’t have to be bound
to this thing called the flesh
I don’t have to be bound
to being a mess

I am free
I am free don’t you see
because it is Grace that surly binds me!!

…Romans 6:13-14 …do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin
as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those
alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to
God. For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under
grace.

Jessica Birmingham

Obedience

John 14:15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command.”

You said- “If you love me you will obey my commands”
Obedience is what you long for
Obedience is what you ask
Your Word says your way is better
But my flesh says,” this is a task”

You warn me of rebellion
You warn me disobedience
You warn me of self reliance
And you know how I can love that “convenience”

You said it will bring destruction
You said It will bring pain
You said It will bring depression
You said It will bring chains

I have gone my own way
I have led my own life
I have demanded my own will
I have forced all my rights

I have seen this bondage
I have lived in those chains
But I now lay them down
I now give You the reins

This scripture I am reading
This path I am receiving
This past I am leaving
Is all pointing the same way:

To love You with all my heart
To be holy
To be set apart

To love as You have loved me
To trust You
And to stay on my knees

To Follow Christ
This requires a sacrifice all my own
Lay aside all the rebellion
Lay aside all the ways I am prone

Follow You without waver
Follow You alone!

To walk in a manner worthy
Worthy of the gospel of Christ
But How can I even begin
to comprehend that sacrifice

The price paid for my sin
The price paid for my soul
And all you ask is I relinquish control

Follow the Spirit
Obey Your Commands
Rest in Your presence
Trust in Your plans

The freedom I have found
In relying on You
The freedom I see
When I trust in The TRUTH

The joy in Your adventures
The joy in Your hands
The joy that is beyond all I can comprehend

This life of surrender
This life of release
This life of freedom
This life of peace

Oh How beautiful are Your ways O Lord
How magnificent are Your plans
When I just lay myself down
And obey Your commands

Forever I will walk
I will trust and rely
Forever I will obey
And I will stay by Your side

You alone are worthy
You alone are true
as long as I am living
I will always follow You

Push Puppet

Inspired by a true story.

 

I am a man, made of wooden beads

held together with string, and a base at my feet.

Beneath my being, is a button to press

that unleashes a tension on the strings in my chest.

When this button is pressed, I grow weak in my knees

I lose all control, I crumble with ease.

I hang upside-down and dangle right there

until the button’s realeased, then I’m back in the air.

I ponder sometimes, am I alone or like you?

Do you have a button, if pressed, breaks you down too?

Pack Your Boxes with Spaghetti Wire

I again struggle in finding a starting point. I think a part of it is because, well, I never in my twenty-one years imagined that I would be writing anything concerning politics, especially concerning President Trump. The greater aspects of my struggle though, are the innumerous misgivings that I must now not only to recognize, but acknowledge, admit to, and share… with all of you.

I’ll begin by telling that I have frequently been acquainted and associated with difficult men. You know, the ones considered assholes. Cold. Grim. Those that laugh about things that kind of make you want to call the police? Or maybe an asylum? Those men. I’ve always considered myself more than able to deal with them, but I hardly realized until now how many of those dealings were so incredibly miscalculated on my part. Ugh, and in reference to the romantic dealings I’ve had with such men… I-I’m an asshole. There. I said it.

Anywho, I posted on Facebook, about a week ago, asking for people to share with me their thoughts and feelings and memories and any other lovey-dovey-sappy stuff they had to give. I had such high hopes,… and yet no one – not even a family member nor any of my closest friends (eh-hem) – gave me what I asked for. An answer to my call came from a long-time friend of my father’s, a stranger to me, known on Facebook as Harry Von Redpigs. I assumed from first glance that he was yet another big-headed meanie jumping at the opportunity to shove his doctrinated opinions down my neck. When I read his eager comment, I sunk deep down into my chair and let out an exasperated and elongated groan, of displeasure. But! Being the [at times too-] optimistic person that I am, and defiant of failure, I followed suit and was soon discussing politics and good ‘ole President Trump with Mr. Redpigs. With every passing message, I found that I was the one shoving things down my neck – a case also known as foot-in-mouth.

This is what I learned.

Harry was a Green Beret in the U.K. Royal Navy, serving in numerous stations as a trauma medic, countering narcotics and assisting in Hurricane Relief along his way. He, like many other military members have and do, saw staying things. Particular for him was an occurrence in the Al Faw peninsula, amidst Kuwait, Iraq, Iran, and the Persian Gulf. Yikes. Contrary to how our conversation began (regarding Trump), his words turned to short burts when I asked him to share something more personal, which I found telling of the nature of those memories.

“Bit of shooting back and forth… artillary was landing on and around us. Cobra came over and lit up the artillery that was shelling us. All went quiet.”

“Sure you want all the details… ?”

“Next day we walked past it, and there was an arm just laying on the sand, it didn’t look real, I picked it up, looked at it, the neck of the humorous was bright white. Smell of metal in the air.”

“Years and years go by. I’m in Gibraltar. I wake up screaming, convinced the arm was in bed with me. Go to see the CPN. Usual bollocks of: normal reaction to an abnormal situation. So I thought: What does she know!!”

“Anyway, life goes off the rails slightly, drinking etc, back out to Afghan, finally it all gets too much. I end up as an inpatient, as I self refer’d due to recognizing that I wasn’t “right”; complete apathy, no empathy, no sympathy, no joy, no sadness. Just void of any feelings and not the sligtest care about anyone else’s.”

“Honest to the point of rudeness with people. It’s not that I wanted to offend people – just didn’t, still don’t, care if they were or not.”

While I had seen where the story was to climax, and was well-prepared for gore, it was his consideration for me and his self-admission to the hospital that caught me off guard. It was so contrary to the apathetic man he told me of.

“Hence why when I say about Trump being good, I don’t mean he’s good in the true sense of the word.”

“Compartmentalize things is what I do. Life vs. work. Home vs. away. If I need to go away, home gets put in a box. I’ll open it when I’m back. Small things don’t matter as they don’t effect me.”

“It’s not that we want to be rude, or purposefully offend you (you being the wider population) we just don’t care if you get upset as we work in black and white, and more importantly we work in fact and evidence.”

All he had said fell into place, and all the headaches I had had with difficult men, along with all of the bad things I had heard about President Trump, were being flipped upside-down.

“Family pet older than the kids are, how can you just kill it?! Without a thought?! Well. There was a thought. The thought was it suffering. It didn’t deserve that. So I ended it’s suffering. I felt nothing doing it. Felt ok that it wasn’t in pain anymore. Does it make me a bad person? In some eyes probably.”

I began to adore the self-sacrifice I saw. Yeah, these hardened men did and do things that I certainly never would or likely ever will, but their intentions were good, truly, and they were not only knowingly, but willingly taking the brunt of people’s opinions for the better of a situation.

“People are starting to see past click-bait and source their own truth.”

“He’s [Trump] an absolute maniac but he’s good in the long term as people will engage in the political process more and actually pay attention to what the people in power do, and call them out on it.”

“He’s an Arse. A narcissist, borderline xenophobic, borderline racist, borderline sexist. I say borderline as there’s shades of grey with this. He’s an old man, despite what his surgeons may tell him, and not caught with 20th century thinking yet.”

“But….. he’s under the microscope. Both personally and politically.”

“Yes, because they’ll scrutinize him.”

My mind, blown. I, taken aback. My previous beliefs about meanie men, well…. they were no more. I thank Harry Von Redpigs for his courageous and forthcoming words, for everything he gave me in that conversation – namely a bit of shame. Truly, I thank you and all who wear the burden of goodness and leadership for us. Us; the people, the soft-hearted, the self-proclaimed-victims who never can imagine the effects of such bravery. Thank you.

 

“He’s scrutinised like no other before him and for me that’s amazing, since Bush Jr declared “The War On Terror” its gotten worse. A lot worse. Obama dropped more ordinance than allied forces combined during WW2. Which is crazy! The drone programme was out of control, they were run out of 29 palms and people were on 8 hour shifts, blowing people up. Then going home. Not cool. The suffering in mental health was extreme as the operator had to zoom in on a face… then release their ordinance. Most operators are in their mid 20s. They will suffer for life. Never mind the destruction left behind in Iraq and Afghan.”

Michael

“The power of manifestation is so very real.. With love as your intent there is no limitation to the abundance you can create in your life.. Know that all you seek is all ready at work and even in your confusion and feelings of straying from your path.. You are always on your path.. There is never a moment that is given to you without an underlying knowledge to be learned.. Never forget that in each moment you breathe.. It is all part of the divine path..”

Jessica Birmingham

This Idol of Mine

Oh Father
Can you please answer me,
I have such a hole inside,
Can you please tell me why
I just want to run and hide..

I have searched high and low,
Most all things I have put out,
I have only kept one thing to show
Only one without a doubt

You see this is very special to me,
One that I hold dear,
One that I run to
When I want to run in fear

I save it for rainy days
even sunny ones will do,
You never know when I might need it
It is not just for when I am blue..

It is my hope, and my comfort
You see, I like it rather a lot
It is there when I need it,
I cling to it probably more than I aught

So please tell me what is wrong..
Oh what is wrong with me,
I have all that I could ask for
I have all that I need

My child,
there are many things you have
This is very true
In fact there is one held too tight,
One that is long over due

This thing you are clinging to
when you want to run and hide,
This thing that you are running to
when all along I am by your side

This will not truly satisfy,
This will not fill you up,
This will not direct you
When you have given up

This is the very thing
that is causing your distress,
This is what has caused you
to feel like such a mess

You see all that you hold tightly,
All that you hold true,
Can never replace
The love that I have for you

I created you my child,
I have bought you with a price,
I have designed you for Me
and in fact, I was pretty precise

See, I have this plan to set you free
I have so much in store
But you have to let go of this idol first
You see I have a whole lot more

So lay it down here at My feet
Lay it down for sure,
Lay it here at this alter
This will be your longing cure

Now let My presence be enough,
Let my grace secure,
I will only satisfy
I will surely endure

You see, I never change my child
I AM the first and the last,
I AM the God of all Creation,
I hold the future and the past

Oh Father,
This idol that I have carried,
I see the price it has cost,
My Father please forgive me,
Oh how I was so lost

Please take this thing from me,
I want all that you have in store,
Thank you for your loving kindness
I see now YOU are so much more.