Shutdown & Restore

Dear heavenly Father,
At first I didn’t, but now I hear you loud and clear.
As the morning began, I prayed to remove my thoughts of him, he the lie, he who I idolized, he my biggest distraction from You. As the day proceeded, You recycled the hope and satisfaction into audbile words and tangible actions. My mind fluttered around this newfound bloom, but it still encircled around a him-not-You. As the evening settled in, You reasoned again with me through online spoken poetry; You told of the Him I need; You reminded me I am worthy without anyone, and this lifestyle of piracy, of hit-and-run, this mindset I let lead would leave me unclean, ashamed, and faithless. How do You know? Because You are You, and You know me. You know the deepest desires of my heart, the wishes I never dare to ask the stars. Oh, but how I forgot how far greater You are, the Creator You are, and the Healer You are, too. I never thought to ask You to update and clean, to delete the virus, destroy the disease, the obsessing over and submitting to loves so momentary, this always forsaking Your promise to marry. Marry me to someone true, someone that’s You. Lord, as I walk in Your light and grow in my faith, as I refuse the malware that tempts me astray, Lord, I pray, make me clean. Make it vanish, into thin air, without a trackable trace, so that the smile on my face and the story it holds moves mountains of people to grab ahold of their faith and click follow, to follow me following You. Then, perhaps by Your will, as a morning begins, I will praise you for my thoughts of a new him, and as a day proceeds I will ask Your blessings, oh Father, and as an evening settles in, I’ll be with a You-given-him; a little team will reason stronger as three with the love from our One, the true Him.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

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